Unwind

I really need to vent and unwind, and all that stuff. 2007 has been a little too crazy for me, and it has really sent me spiraling out of control. In the beginning of the year I got my feelings hurt and in turn hurt a friends feelings and that caused me to have to take a mandatory 6 month break from a singing group. I was devastated but in some ways it has been good for me. I have had a lot of time to reflect on what is really important, and since my throat got really irritated from the breathing tube that was shoved down my throat during surgery, I can't sing until it gets better, but I miss singing and seeing my wonderful friends. Also in the month of Jan. I had surgery to take my gall bladder out and that sent me into even more depression because of the side effects and pain and all that fun stuff. It didn't help when I heard more then once from my in laws that I was a hypocondriac after that. Seriously, do you think that the doctors would take out an organ if it wasn't neccessary? I didn't just go in there and say I feel sick, take an organ out and make me regret it for the rest of my life. I mean come on. Just because I have horrible genes and a horrible immune system doesn't mean I am making things up. I would love to be normal and not have health problems. I beg marty to make me better so i don't have to deal with this crap every day. It also doesn't help that they blame me for them not knowing the kids and not visiting, because hey they will go visit my sister in law 3 blocks away every week but heaven forbid they come see me. I invite them over all the time, but they don't come over and I'm at fault? No! It's just so stupid. I like them, but I am getting more then annoyed at this point. Get over it people, the things that happened was 7 years ago. Move on! Ok, me moving on now. At the end of Jan, my dog had puppies. Things got really crazy then. My normally clean and nice house is now over run by 7 dogs, who stink, and make messes, and oh my gosh. Chaos! Then in Feb. still recovering from a botched up surgery, I am finally able to relax a little but still not as well as I wanted. Marty is hard at work on a project and I almost never see him. We then decide to move, pack things up, put our house up for sale and find a house to move into. Needless to say our loan officer had to mess things up and have a talk with marty about how we were ruining our financial future by moving, so we decide to stay, and now have to unpack. I just need a change. I chopped my hair off because of it, I am contemplating getting another piercing in my ear and love to dream about a cute little tattoo. (I'm turning into Britney Spears! Gasp!) But I started hitting rock bottom before she did, so there. She got the idea from me. I'm losing friends more then I can make them, and I am getting really tired of people telling me what i should be doing and pressuring me to do things I don't want to do. And I hate not having money. But in spite of everything, I have an awesome husband who is patient with my rantings and still loves me and calls me sexy everyday even when I don't feel sexy, two cute kids I couldn't live without, cute puppies who I love to death, two cars, a nice house and a pretty good life compared to some. I am blessed. I just feel lonely and stressed. I'll snap out of it somehow. That's all for now.

Funny

Ok, so marty may not appreciate me writing about this but it is too funny to not post. The other day I had a dr. appointment, and once we were done, we were going out of the building, and as marty goes out the door he lets one rip really bad and then he makes the aaaaaahhhh noise. I turn around to tell him how gross that was and see a guy that was behind him making his really discusted face. So I start laughing really hard and told marty he had some guy behind him when he did that. So he turns around and starts laughing too, and he was like I didn't think anyone was behind me, so i am laughing so hard at this point that I can't even stand up. It was hilarious. That poor guy, he had to hear it and walk through the same door that marty did it at, so it was really gross for him, but very funny for us. lololol. Note to marty next time you need to do that make sure no one is behind you. haha. Anyway, I have been thoroughly bored lately and very lonely. Marty has been working hard on this give kids a smile thing and he is gone all the time. I really hate it when he is gone. And to make things worse, he's going to be gone next weekend too on a camp out with his scouts. So I have to be without him even more. Grrr. Oh well, I really need to learn how to get on without him so it's not so hard when he has to be away. So yeah. I guess thats all for now.

marty needs a new post

the title says it all, and I am sick with the cold. Stupid immune system, it just can't handle anything. Just sick, sad and tired today. Not much going on.

Making the best out of things

Ok, so yesterday wasn't the best day. I was very sick and had to stay in bed most of the day. But I am feeling much better today. Still a little off but not as bad as yesterday. Thank goodness. I hate those setbacks. Anyway, I got to thinking that even though things have been bad lately that I am going to make the best out of what I've got. So with staying in this house I am going to just improve things so that it is not so boring and tedious. I'm going to put new decorations up and clean out junk, get new furniture and stuff like that to make it seem like a new house. And the weather lately has been helping too. I always get the winter blues, and so with the sun shining and spring not far off, I am feeling great. I love spring. My depression is sooo much better when it is spring/summer. Anyway, so hopefully this new feeling stays and things get better. And of course, marty is the best!

2007 sucks!

I cannot wait for 2007 to be over. It's only a month into the year and so far I have had way too many bad things happen to me. I got kicked out of my singing group that I love temporarily for misunderstandings, I had surgery to take my gall bladder out and I am still waiting to feel better from it. My dog had puppies and it has been chaos, we decided not to sell our house after finding the most perfect house in the world, and so I am understandably really upset. Also my son has been causing problems at school that i don't know how to solve, and marty's family are being jerks. Not a big surprise, but still each time they pull something it just makes me ever more mad. I know I said that I was going to focus more on positive things but it's so hard. I stand back up from being kicked down and before I can get my feet firmly underneath me something knocks me down again so it's just a little difficult to be positive. Ok, so I do have great things in life. I have a house (even though it's not my dream house), I have the most awesome husband in the world who does anything to make me happy, I have two great kids, I have a dog and a cat, the puppies are really cute even though they are stinky little furballs. haha. I get to get new furniture to make up for not getting my house, and I get to see all my wonderful flowers bloom in the spring. So I guess it's not all bad. And I have two cars. I guess I just want everything to be perfect and it's not going to happen. I expect too much out of myself and others and it's just good. But I am still mad about the new house and I am mad at our loan officer, and marty had better have one heck of a good valentine's day gift for me to make me feel better or else. haha. Ok, I am done.