Better now

Ok, so with the advice of a few people I will now write a blog about happy things since everything has been a little crazy and depressing lately. So my dog had puppies the other day and it was cool. It has been driving me crazy because they are smelly and leave messes everywhere, but they are really cute and I am quite attached to them. The dog keeps pooping everywhere though and that makes me really mad but I think we may have stopped it for a while. One of the puppies died though and that made me cry for a couple of hours but I got over it. We are selling our house and there haven't been any buyers but I hope there will be soon because we have found a house in Eagle Mountain that we really love and I am really excited about it. I am a little scared though because it means new friends and new everything and I will miss this house a little but not that much to change my mind. Katharine McPhee's CD comes out today and I am so going to buy it. I love her. I want to sing like her. I am feeling better after my surgery. Things still hurt a little and I still can't eat a whole lot, but I am getting better and that makes me happy. I got to meet Brandon's wife the other day and it was really awesome. She is very cool I think we should be the ones related instead of marty because we have more in common, and so marty and brandon should be the related ones. hehe. We had a lot of fun. It was cool. So yeah, I don't know what else to write about. I could write more about what else I am feeling but it is kind of depressing so I won't. I just feel a little lonely I guess. No one to talk to during the day and all that. Marty is great as always. No one can have a better husband.....literally. Ok, so I am done. Someone needs to help me think of something funny to do or to think about a certain J named person to cheer me up. hehehe. Just writing that made me laugh. Yay!

Surgery

Things are just not going as well as I want them to. This year was supposed to be a new start and all that and it is but in the bad way. We have been getting our house ready to sell and looking to the ends of the earth to find a decent house to live in for a while to save money so we can build our own house, but there is nothing out there that is decent. I feel we need to move but it's just making us waste more money by staying just because there is nothing out there. I feel empty. I hate our current house, I hate looking for houses that we can't afford and the stress that comes with it, I hate not having money, I hate being overwhelmed by family, enemies, house work, surgeries, and everything else. I feel like just bawling my head off because of it all but I can't because my stomach hurts from the recent surgery I just had. I got temporarily kicked out the group that I sing with that I love so much for stupid reasons, I have horrible health and horrible people around me that don't give a crap about me, and I hate me and marty's callings. I hate it when people bug me about church, why can't I just go without pressure? I need a break. I just want a house where I can just be me, and have a master bedroom, a fenced yard, a 2 car garage and all that stuff, but you have to be a millionaire for all that. I want my kids to stop bossing me around and stop acting like brats, nobody wants to be around them because they are acting out so bad. I want marty to make up his stupid mind about things instead of making me do them because he takes so long to decide. I want his and my family to stop treating me as if I don't matter and actually care that I am still alive after the surgery that I am struggling so hard to get recovered from. I want money so I don't have to use my credit card to pay bills, I want marty to stop thinking about getting a second job because if he does that I really will go off a cliff. (Emotionally). I want to stop having to take so many dang medicines just to make me feel good. I just want life to stop for a while and let me catch up.